Bonus Update: The Lost Episodes of He-Man

I undertake a vast degree of extensive and diligent research for this website (stop sniggering at the back there). In the course of this research, I have uncovered a number of He-Man story pitches that were, for whatever reason, never developed into episodes. I thought it would be only fair to share them with you. Some of them sound quite good.

 

The Delvers of Delos

The mines of Delos are famed across Eternia for their mineral wealth. But when Skeletor offers the miners a better employment contract, they go on strike. He-Man must negotiate with an intransigent union leader to settle the industrial dispute before Eternia runs out of vital resources!

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A Hard Day’s Knight

A mysterious wizard calling himself the Day Knight arrives on Eternia and offers his services to the highest bidder. He claims to be able to control Eternia’s rotation speed, thus providing the possibility of boundless sunlight – or endless night. Will He-Man be able to prevent Skeletor from engaging the Day Knight to plunge Eternia into a neverending darkness?

 

A Cautionary Tale

Orko happens upon a grove of plants that give him strange hallucinations when he eats them. Naturally, he becomes addicted and eats a whole kilogram of them. The remaining 18 minutes of the episode is shown from Orko’s point of view as he undergoes a strange and increasingly alarming LSD trip, in which all sorts of distressing things happen. Once kids have seen Orko knife Ram-Man to death, they’ll be sufficiently disturbed to be put off drugs for life.

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Confession

Evil-Lyn develops a magic potion that forces the drinker to tell the truth. Can Prince Adam avoid confessing his deepest secret – that he has some nude photos of Teela hidden on his laptop? He must also avoid revealing that he is He-Man, though Adam is more concerned about the Teela business.

 

Under the Sun’s Warm Glow

When Prince Adam accidentally overdoes it in the Palace tanning studio, he must endure a day of everybody ribbing him good-naturedly about how he now looks just like He-Man. Even so, no one manages to put two and two together, leading to Adam beginning to despair of the intellectual capacity of his parents and everybody else on Eternia.

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It’s Personality That Counts

On an archaeology dig, Melaktha uncovers a 20-foot-tall ancient statue of a nude and hugely under-endowed Man-at-Arms, and when word gets out, Man-at-Arms finds it difficult to be taken seriously around the Palace until he agrees to a full-frontal photoshoot for FHM to set the record straight. Meanwhile, He-Man embarks on a quest to discover how the Ancient Eternians could have made a statue of Man-at-Arms, but it eventually transpires that Skeletor is responsible, having simply planted the statue in the archaeological ruins for a laugh.

 

And yes, just in case anyone was deceived, this is an April Fool. How we chortled.

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One thought on “Bonus Update: The Lost Episodes of He-Man

  1. Hilarious!! Confession would be a good one for teela I bet even after adam drinking the magic drink revealing his secret identity I bet teela still wouldn’t figure it out lol under the sun’s warm glow would be a good one for this too a good bit of fun for April fools interesting eye catching titles!! I think a cautionary tale is my favourite of your fun episode titles a really trippy episode with Orko an ram man carlsberg don’t do he man episodes!! Excellent enjoyed reading them all.

    Like

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