In which Ram-Man dispenses his infamously demented moral.
The Sorceress summons He-Man and Battle-Cat to Castle Grayskull, with disturbing news. Apparently, a merchant reported that a pyramid has risen out of the desert near the Fortress of the Sands, but when men from the Fortress went to investigate, there was no pyramid there. The Sorceress feels that this is due to some ancient evil, discounting the possibility that it’s due to an idiot merchant playing a none-too-amusing joke.
He-Man and Battle-Cat head off to check out this mysterious pyramid, taking with them Orko and Ram-Man, who are most definitely the B-team: Man-at-Arms and Teela are allegedly off chasing space pirates, so they’re not available. Arriving at the Fortress of the Sands, our intrepid heroes find that it is under attack by giant metal spiders, which He-Man recognises as being Trapjaw’s inventions.
Getting involved, He-Man defeats one of the spiders, while Ram-Man surprisingly takes out the other two. Trapjaw watches on a screen, getting told off by a mysterious figure in a brown outfit, referred to by Trapjaw as Mask. He-Man salvages a control box from one of the spiders and sets the homing beacon, leading him straight to Trapjaw’s lair.
After eavesdropping for a time and learning that Mask is working for a mistress whose aim is to awaken a Sleeping Beast, He-Man intervenes. Once again, it’s Ram-Man who claims the victory, incapacitating Trapjaw with a well-timed ramming of a spider. On the other hand, Mask escapes, and He-Man doesn’t bother to interrogate Trapjaw, instead opting to turn back into Adam and head back to the Royal Palace to pick up the royal archaeologist Melaktha and his apprentice, Stanlin.
Arriving in the desert village of Kalysh, our heroes hire a guide, who is of course Mask in disguise. Overnight, Mask sabotages the party’s vehicles and makes arrangements with a bunch of humanoid lizards to capture the group on the following evening. Naturally, this plot doesn’t go down quite as planned, with He-Man quickly putting in an appearance and despatching the lizards.
Unfortunately, the lizard attack has served one purpose: acting as a distraction while Mask stands there waving his hands around, raising the pyramid from the sands. Orko tries to stop him, seizing the mask from his face, which gives Orko a bad case of glowing yellow outline disease. He-Man gets involved again and cuts Mask’s mask in half, leading Mask to shrivel and dissolve like the Lord of the Nazgul.
In the morning, Orko is sent back to the Sorceress to be healed, hopefully meaning his part in this story is over. Melaktha happily proclaims that with Mask gone, the pyramid should be safe to explore, to which Adam ominously replies, “I hope you’re right…” Given there’s a Part 2, I think we can safely conclude that Melaktha is not right.
In today’s adventure …
I don’t quite know what to say about this. I understand that this being Part 1 of an adventure, it may be difficult to really work in some kind of moral lesson into the episode without giving the end away … but still, I’m sure they could have done better than having Ram-Man show up to say, and I quote, “Ramming things may look like fun, but it really isn’t. It’s not only dangerous, it’s dumb.”
Well, Ram-Man, I have news for you. Ramming things does not look like fun. It never looked like fun, even when I was the target audience at the tender age of 4. This is because I didn’t want to be Ram-Man. No one wants to be Ram-Man. They want to be He-Man. And He-Man does not ram things with his head. So, thanks for the advice, but frankly, even 2 year olds have this one down.
I am convinced the writers must have been taking the piss. If they weren’t, I’m genuinely worried for them.
We are graced with a large number of characters this week – Prince Adam, He-Man, Cringer, Battle-Cat, Orko, Ram-Man, Melaktha, Stanlin, the Sorceress, Mask and Trapjaw. You can also count a very brief, cliff-hangery appearance from the eponymous Shokoti, if you like.
Excuse for Prince Adam’s disappearance
Adam undergoes the transformation into He-Man three times in the course of this episode (though thankfully twice off-screen, so we only have to sit through the stock animation once), but not once does he try to explain himself. In fairness, each He-Man appearance is so brief that it is believable that Adam is simply cowering inside the tent.
Insults abound this week, most of them aimed at Trapjaw, who is referred to as an “incompetent fool” by Mask, and as “Metal-mouth” by He-Man. He-Man also calls him “Trappy”, and while this sounds more like a pet name, I’ve never spotted any particular affection between He-Man and Trapjaw, so we’ll chalk it up as an insult.
Elsewhere, Orko tells Adam that Cringer is a “dumb kitty”, to which Cringer responds with equal vehemence that Orko is “dumb” and so is his magic hoop. He-Man calls one of the humanoid lizards a “Scale-face”, and Orko puts in a poor effort by saying Mask has a “funny face”.
Does it have the Power?
Without having watched Part 2 yet, I’m happy to give this episode a cautious thumbs-up. There’s a few bits that could have been better thought out, such as why Mask bothers sabotaging the expedition’s vehicle when he actively wants them to reach the pyramid so he can give them to his mistress, and obviously the moral should never have made it past the first draft. I’m also rather suspicious that the episode doesn’t actually need to be a two-parter: I very much doubt we were given any information this week that will be relevant next time.
On the good side, Mask was quite an interesting villain, and possibly unique in He-Man for actually being killed. Melaktha comments that he was more of a “shadow of evil” than a person, but I don’t imagine that excuse would stand up in court. I enjoyed Trapjaw’s appearance as a sort of evil-inventor-for-hire, and I am happy to eat my words from a few weeks back and report that Melaktha is a positive black role model.
So join me next week for the no-doubt thrilling conclusion – unless of course you spend the week ramming things with your head.