In which He-Man demonstrably proves there is no upper limit to his ludicrousness.
Thanks to the corodite mineral mined by the Widgets, Man-at-Arms has created a new rocket booster for the Wind Raider. After Teela successfully tests the rocket booster, she and Adam head for the beach with four Widgets, where we are treated to scenes of beach ball and sandcastle building. It’s nice to see Adam and Teela doing their bit for Care in the Community.
I was just about at the end of my tether with the sickeningly sweet music and jolly happy family attitude between Adam, Teela and the Widgets, so it comes as a merciful relief when Mer-Man and Trapjaw show up with a batch of unconvincing mechanical sea monsters. They use these for no evident reason to attack a boat belonging to a fisherman called Jacob, which is the cue for He-Man’s entry.
He-Man rescues Jacob and punches the robots into pieces, then considers the danger over and turns back into Adam. In what I think must be a first, Jacob is not grateful for He-Man’s help, and he frets over his destroyed boat and fishing equipment. Our heroes are distinctly unsympathetic to the loss of his livelihood, and get very huffy. As a punishment for his uncooperativeness, Jacob is sent to live with the Widgets until he can get himself a new boat.
Mer-Man and Trapjaw have a quick debate over what went wrong, and hilariously conclude that they need to build new mechanical sea monsters using a different material – corodite. I’m pretty sure they won’t get to that stage, but even if they do, I can’t believe they genuinely think that building some corodite sea monsters is the key to defeating He-Man. Anyway, Mer-Man briefly kidnaps one of the Widgets called Biro, finds out from him where the corodite is kept, then lets him go after muttering some vague threats.
Once back at the Widgets’ fort, Jacob persists with being grumpy, until Squinch gives him an old fishing rod, at which point he starts whimpering about how no one’s ever been kind to him before. Before this can go any further, Mer-Man floods the mines, then appears in the fortress, demanding corodite and threatening to flood the entire fort if he doesn’t get it. He is secure enough in this plan to indulge in a fishy kind of laugh.
Luckily, Teela decides to pay a visit to the Widgets to see how Jacob is getting on. On discovering Mer-Man in the fort, Teela immediately gets down in a suggestive all fours pose, which is not the most obvious thing to do, but it works out quite well because Mer-Man is stupid enough to trip over her. Jacob then uses his new fishing rod to catch Mer-Man and tie him up, to general acclaim. However, Mer-Man manages to free himself and heads down into the flooded mines to help himself to corodite.
Realising that Teela and Jacob are completely useless, the Widgets summon He-Man, who shows up in very short order. Learning of the situation, he pops down into the mines and kicks Mer-Man, and that’s the end of that. Unfortunately, the tide is coming in and filling the mines with more water – threatening the entire fort.
He-Man decides that this is the sort of thing that requires immediate and disproportionate action. Rather than blocking the water’s entrance to the mine with a rock like he normally would, his solution today is to take the Wind Raider with its new rocket booster out into space. I need hardly remind you that the Wind Raider is an open-top vehicle, so I suppose we can add “breathing in a vacuum” to He-Man’s list of skills.
There is then a ridiculous shot of He-Man standing on the front of the Wind Raider – out in space – and pushing the moon. This of course has the desired effect of reversing the tide and causing the water to flow back out of the Widgets’ fortress. I expect it also causes floods and tsunamis and all sorts of other havoc all over Eternia, but we don’t dwell on that. Once the flood is resolved, He-Man flies to the other side of the moon and pushes it back into its correct orbit, demonstrating at least some sense of environmental responsibility.
In case you cared, which I certainly didn’t, Jacob’s storyline is concluded by him becoming less grumpy and being elected as the Widgets’ new mayor. Hip hip hooray. You’ll forgive me if I don’t give a monkey’s about this.
In today’s adventure…
Teela tells us that like Jacob, sometimes we don’t know how much we are loved and needed. She then concludes by asking in a pretty accusatory fashion, “Have you hugged your parents today?”
Appearing today for our delight and delectation are Prince Adam, Cringer, He-Man, Battle-Cat, Teela, Man-at-Arms, Mer-Man, Trapjaw, Jacob, Squinch, Laura, Biro, and the other Widgets, the names of whom temporarily escape me, but who cares, eh? No Orko today, though, so thank the Lord for small mercies.
Excuse given for Prince Adam’s disappearance
We are treated to two transformations from Adam to He-Man this week, but on neither occasion does he bother to excuse himself.
Laura the Widget calls Mer-Man a “fish-face”, which Teela then refines into just plain “fish”. Mer-Man’s insults are reserved for Trapjaw, who he calls a “metal-mouth”, and shortly thereafter states, “You not only look stupid, you are stupid.” Trapjaw is sufficiently stupid to not react in any way to this cutting remark.
Does it have the Power?
This is the sort of episode that should carry a public health warning: “If you think you’ve been driven mental by the events depicted in this programme, call 0800-HELP-ME.” Honestly, He-Man’s moon-related antics this week are not only impossible and insane, but they’re also an unnecessarily convoluted way of solving a very simple problem. It’s as if the writer thought, “Oh Christ, everyone’s going to remember this episode as the boring one with the grumpy fisherman. I’d better do something about that: I’ll make them remember it as the demented one where He-Man breathes in space and pushes the moon around.”
The moon bit aside, it’s a very boring episode. The only bit I liked was the quite realistic bit with Jacob’s worry for his livelihood when he was first rescued, and even this was tempered with the secure prediction that he’d end up apologising for his behaviour. In addition, the inclusion of the hugely irritating Widgets is rarely a good way to get me invested in a plot.
Still, if you want to see an episode which goes completely off its head in the last five minutes, there’s probably no better than this. Otherwise, it’s worth missing.