Episode 88 – Portrait of Doom

In which She-Ra has a near brush with disaster.

Oh, Christ, Bow’s playing his harp again. Luckily, he’s not singing today, but nonetheless it’s an atrocious racket. The assembled Twiggets, however, seem to think he’s great, and shower him with unwarranted praise, leading him to yammer on about how he’s going to be a big hit at the forthcoming Summer Moon Festival. This in turn leads the Twigget Spritina to wander off sadly, bemoaning the fact that she is rubbish at everything so won’t be performing at the festival.

Well, you know what happens whenever anyone gets sad because they’re rubbish, don’t you? That’s right, they run into a baddy, who will be in disguise and will embroil our unlucky protagonist in some stupid scheme. This time is no different. In this case, the baddy in question is Catra, and the stupid scheme revolves around a magic painting kit which Catra lends to Spritina, and tells her to paint portraits of all her friends with it.

Spritina: “Say cheese.”

Spritina starts by painting Netossa, who immediately complains of feeling tired, and then disappears from view altogether. Spritina has already run off to the festival by this stage, and happily occupies herself painting pictures of Kowl, Broom, and Bow, who all disappear as well. As far as I’m concerned, this episode is going really well; hopefully Spritina will move on to paint Adora, Madame Razz and Glimmer. And Loo-Kee, if she can find him.

The missing rebels are transferred onto portraits hanging in the Fright Zone, where they only exist in two-dimensional form, and are unable to move. If I were Hordak, I’d burn these portraits right now, especially the one of Bow. Instead, Hordak satisfies himself with telling Shadow Weaver how excellent her magic paints are, while Catra pouts in the background. Failing to capitalise on an advantage is the principal and fundamental mistake exhibited by every baddy in this series ever.

Hordak: “Well, I can see why it’s free to get into the National Portrait Gallery. I wouldn’t pay to look at this nonsense.”

Spritina is just about to start painting Adora when Madame Razz bounces up, bearing the news that all their stupid rebelly friends have vanished and Catra’s Horde Troopers are attacking Bright Moon. While the remaining rebels start a fruitless search for their missing colleagues, Adora transforms into She-Ra and ponces off to Bright Moon, though not before clocking that there’s something odd with Spritina’s paintings.

Madame Razz begins an investigation into the magic painting kit, and unfortunately an investigation for Madame Razz means sitting in a circle with the Twiggets, shrieking, “Razzle dazzle, mazzle azzle, uzzle buzzle” and other nonsensical variants on that theme. This descent into total madness somehow gets the results required, and Madame Razz learns that Bow and co. are trapped on canvas in the Fright Zone.

Madame Razz heads to Bright Moon to alert She-Ra to this pretty damn disturbing turn of events, while Spritina achieves the difficult goal of making the situation even worse by going to the Fright Zone and getting herself captured. Luckily, She-Ra arrives in the Fright Zone in the nick of time, rescues Spritina, and also grabs the portraits.

She-Ra: “Do I look weirdly exhausted?”

They all merrily return to Whispering Wood, where Madame Razz recites more “wizzle wuzzle” gibberish and restores the two-dimensional rebels to life. I’d love to say that Bow has always been two-dimensional so it’s difficult to tell the difference, but that’s a far too obvious joke, so I wouldn’t dream of making it.

In today’s adventure…

Loo-Kee evaded my eager gaze today, but blow me down if he didn’t turn out to have been in a tree in Whispering Wood. He offers a disjointed little moral about how we shouldn’t wish we could play musical instruments, but instead concentrate on being ourselves rather than trying to be like other people. Taken to its logical conclusion, this approach would result in no one being able to play musical instruments. Good one, Loo-Kee.

Character checklist

Here we have Adora, Spirit, She-Ra, Swift Wind, Bow, Kowl, Glimmer, Netossa, Queen Angela, Madame Razz, Broom, the Twiggets (including Spritina), Loo-Kee, loads of rebels, Hordak, Catra, Shadow Weaver, and some Horde Troopers.

Catra: “Yeah, well done, Shadow Weaver. Well done. So clever of you.”

Insults

Everything’s ticking along beautifully, without an angry word being exchanged, right up to around the 17th minute, when it all goes to pot with Hordak bellowing “bumbling purr-brain” at Catra. This was surprising, largely because I thought he was going to say “bumbling pervert”. Catra evidently decides to let off some steam at this unfair treatment by telling Spritina and another Twigget called Sprint that they are “rebel scum”.

Oh No, Bow!

I think this episode must have been a massive ego boost for Bow. In stark comparison to the levels of distress exhibited about Netossa, Kowl and Broom, loads of people seem really concerned about Bow’s whereabouts, and Queen Angela seems to reckon that the Rebellion will be unable to defend Bright Moon without him. This is, of course, entirely untrue, since Bow has very rarely proven himself to have any abilities whatsoever, and notably She-Ra does not appear to think there’s any urgency to rescuing him.

She-Ra: “Worst Christmas present ever.”

Does it have the Power?

This episode has an imaginative concept, which I imagine would have been quite scary for a child; to be trapped on a canvas, unable to move, would not be a great way to end your days. Even though it’s Shadow Weaver’s plan, for some reason Hordak entrusts it to Catra to carry it out, and that’s a good move, because Catra is at her most deliciously evil this week. It’s a pleasure to see her back on form. Aside from the irritating Madame Razz “razzle dazzle” nonsense, and the slightly irrelevant Horde attack on Bright Moon, this episode is a strong entry, and worth a watch.

Episode 83 – She-Ra Makes a Promise

In which Bow might as well rename himself Captain Obvious.

This episode begins with a really random scene where all the rebels argue about what their favourite food is. With the sole exception of one of the Twiggets, they eventually agree that they all very much enjoy some weird foodstuff called golden spuffles. I am sure your lives are greatly enriched by your acquisition of this information. Anyway, the Twigget who hates spuffles suddenly decides that he fancies Adora’s pants off, so he decides to go and get some spuffles for her.

Twiggets: “Nice to get the limelight for a change. Allows us to show off that we’re insane.”

Unfortunately, golden spuffles only grow on the banks of a river in the Fright Zone, which means the stupid Twigget – whose name is Sprocker – gets himself captured pretty much immediately. His captor is Octavia, that green tentacled lady we last saw ages ago in Treasures of the First Ones. Her big idea is to use Sprocker as bait to capture She-Ra, which is such a stunningly original plan that Hordak agrees to it at once.

Hordak sends Adora a note to explain that the rebels will never see Sprocker again, unless She-Ra shows up at the Fright Zone, unaccompanied, unarmed, and mentally unbalanced. He doesn’t actually say that last bit, in case I needed to clarify there. Adora decides that she has no choice, so she pops off into the woods and transforms into She-Ra.

Once She-Ra gets to the Fright Zone, Hordak promises to release Sprocker and never attack the rebels again, if She-Ra will promise to place herself under arrest, never try to escape, and obey all Hordak’s commands to the letter. She-Ra agrees to these terms and is escorted out to the dungeons, while Hordak keeps his word and releases Sprocker.

She-Ra: “You idiot. I don’t even like those stupid golden spuffle things. I was just saying that to shut you lot up.”

Locked in her cell, She-Ra decides to escape – but then realises that she has made a promise, and will not break it. She instead concludes that the best thing to do is stand around in the dungeon shouting, “He-Man! He-Man! I need help!” Yes you do, She-Ra, but not in the way you think. Anyway, He-Man astoundingly manages to hear She-Ra, and enthusiastically appears on Etheria to bust her out of prison.

In the meantime, Hordak has violated his side of the bargain by capturing Bow, Madame Razz and Broom. He’s also, somewhat unusually, taken the trouble to arrest Bow’s horse, though I suppose in fairness the horse does have a bigger brain than Bow does. He carts them off to Beast Island, which means He-Man and She-Ra have to go to Beast Island as well and bring them back. After they’ve dealt with that, He-Man and She-Ra stare at each other with expressions suggesting that they have the sort of sibling love that society isn’t prepared to accept.

He-Man: “Incest is just a social construct, maaan.”

In today’s adventure…

I feel like the animators couldn’t be bothered trying to hide Loo-Kee today, since the episode’s very first shot is a massive close-up of his face. His advice today is that it’s okay if we feel a sort of sexual feeling for our siblings, but it’s probably best if we don’t act on it, and it’s better yet if we could move to a planet in a different dimension to avoid temptation.

Once again, of course, I’m lying, but my idea was about 100 billion times more interesting than Loo-Kee’s drivel, which is that we must always tell our parents where we’re going. I must have missed this episode as a child, since I have been known to go on holiday for two weeks without telling my parents, and if I’d seen this episode and learned this lesson, I’d never do that.

Loo-Kee: “Only 10 episodes left, and then you’ll never have to see me again.”

Character checklist

Okay, lads, we’ve got Adora, Spirit, She-Ra, Swift Wind, Prince Adam, He-Man, Bow, Kowl, Madame Razz, Broom, Sprocker, the other Twiggets, Loo-Kee, Hordak, Octavia, Mantenna, Imp, and some Horde Troopers.

Insults

Madame Razz considers Sprocker a “scallywag”, which is exceptionally mild. I think he’s a dick. Hordak starts off imaginatively, with “armour-plated pop-eye” for Mantenna, but he all too quickly lapses back into old habits, by calling Mantenna a “fool” and addressing Bow and Madame Razz as “fools” as well. Bow retaliates by referring to the entire Horde as “cowards”.

Oh No, Bow!

When Adora receives Hordak’s note asking She-Ra to come unarmed to the Fright Zone, Bow chirps up, “It could be a trap!” You know what, Bow, you might be on to something there. You’re right. It definitely COULD be a trap. There’s certainly an outside possibility, isn’t there? That’s a degree of prescience bordering on the fucking supernatural you’ve got going on there, Bow. It’s a wonder MI5 haven’t recruited Bow, given his uncanny grasp of the subtleties of counter-intelligence.

To put it another way – of course it’s a trap, you complete and total tool. Now shut up, unless you’ve got anything to contribute, which we all know you haven’t.

Bow: “I wonder if maybe this is a trap too?”

Does it have the Power?

This one clearly started out in the writer’s room as a quite interesting notion. I like the idea of She-Ra being forced into making a bargain with Hordak, but frankly that’s the only good thing about this episode. The setup to the promise bit is less than compelling: the golden spuffles nonsense is completely random, and She-Ra could have easily rescued Sprocker and done a runner without having to enter into any kind of deal. Once she’s locked up, she does agonise a little about breaking the promise, but seems to think that calling on He-Man to rescue her does not constitute trying to escape. She’s then let off the hook all too easily because Hordak goes back on his side of the deal: it could have been an interesting episode if She-Ra had had to choose to break her promise when Hordak had kept his. All in all, we have a missed opportunity here, which is somehow more frustrating than the episodes that never had a hope of being any good. Still, there’s enough of a decent effort here to make it worth a watch.

Episode 28 – Bow’s Farewell

In which Bow and She-Ra go utterly mad.

Adora finds Bow in a village, trying to teach a Twigget a song before embarking on a boring physics lesson about sound frequencies. Unfortunately, this village is known Horde territory, and Adora is concerned that Bow will be found and captured. It seems she is right to be concerned, since a Horde patrol shows up pretty soon. On the other hand, the patrol is singularly incapable of capturing Bow or Adora, especially not when She-Ra makes an entrance.

Bow's Farewell 1
Bow: “What do you mean, I have literally no idea what sound frequencies are?”

The next five minutes are given over to a long fight between She-Ra and Bow on one side, and Catra and some Horde Troopers on the other. Despite the writers managing to make Catra act even more mental than usual, this is unfortunately rather dull. Eventually, our heroes escape into Whispering Wood, at which point Catra hisses that the Horde has plans to deal with the Rebellion. There’s a chance that in the script this sounded threatening and ominous, but once on screen, it’s such familiar dialogue that it just washes over us.

Once all that excitement is over, Adora harangues Bow for having gone to the Twigget village in the first place. Bow retorts that maybe the Rebellion would be better off without him, which sounds like a good idea to me, but Kowl quickly intervenes and suggests that Bow take a holiday “communing with nature in the Mystic Stones”. I suspect this is a code that Bow and Kowl have previously established for “We’re going to get off our tits on smack and visit Amsterdam’s seedier quarters.”

Bow's Farewell 2
Kowl: “Got the drugs in that bag, Bow?”

Not knowing the code, Adora agrees that this is a great idea, so Bow and Kowl head off together on their Big Lads’ Weekend. On arrival at the Mystic Stones, however, they discover that a bunch of Horde Troopers have enslaved the Twiggets and are forcing them to carry out some nefarious task. Kowl is despatched back to the camp to fetch Adora, while Bow takes leave of his senses and dresses up as a cliché magician to infiltrate the Horde camp. Rather surprisingly, this works.

Bow learns from one of the Twiggets – who has the unfortunate name of Spunky – that the Horde are building an eclipse beam, which will channel the power of the moon’s eclipse into destroying Castle Bright Moon. Bow then makes the strange choice to occupy himself in performing magic tricks for the assembled Horde Troopers, until Catra figures out who he is and prepares to cart him away.

Bow's Farewell 3
Bow: “No! Wait! This isn’t part of my act!”

Luckily, the enslaved Twiggets choose this moment to rebel, and with the arrival of She-Ra and Kowl on the scene, it’s curtains for the Horde Troopers. Catra gets the chance to fire her stupid eclipse beam, and even gets some super villainess dialogue (“Nothing can save Bright Moon now!”), but of course She-Ra destroys the machine with a good solid kick.

In an unexpected twist, however, it turns out that the machine is a fake, and the real controller is in an entirely different location. This does rather beg the question of why the Horde were forcing the Twiggets to build a fake machine; if they hadn’t drawn attention to themselves by enslaving the Twiggets, She-Ra would never have got wind of this plan until it was too late. Never mind! I suspect that logic is not one of Catra’s strengths.

Having said that, logic is clearly not a strength for anyone in this episode, since the next step is for She-Ra to fly on Swift Wind into outer space and use a grappling hook to pull the moon to stop it going into eclipse. While so doing, She-Ra says, “Come on, Swifty, we’ve got to pull like we’ve never pulled before,” which is incidentally what she says on a Saturday night down at Wetherspoons.

Bow's Farewell 4
Swift Wind: “She-Ra, is it just me or is this episode completely off its head?”

Bow observes that She-Ra is doing something completely mental, and not to be outdone, he decides that his best next step is to build a giant amplifier and play his harp through it. This has the outstandingly fortuitous effect of blowing up the real eclipse machine, wherever it is. Bow and Spunky perform a stupid jig, and She-Ra comes back to Etheria, incidentally without setting fire to her arse, unlike last time she tried a stunt like this.

 

In today’s adventure…

I was too busy watching the various other acts of total lunacy to be concerned with trying to find Loo-Kee today, so I missed his hiding place in the Twiggets’ village. He informs us solemnly that Bow used his knowledge of science to blow up the eclipse machine, and adds that we can find loads of books about science at our local library. He probably shouldn’t be encouraging us to read them, though, because we might then find out, for example, that:

  1. You can’t channel the power of an eclipse through an eclipse beam, because an eclipse is simply a shadow and thus doesn’t have any power.
  2. You can’t blow machines up by playing music at them really loudly.
  3. You can’t talk when you’re in outer space.
  4. You can’t breathe when you’re in outer space.
  5. You can’t maintain your body temperature when you’re only wearing a skimpy dress and a red cloak when you’re in outer space.
  6. You can’t use a grappling hook to tow a moon.
  7. Even if you could use a grappling hook to tow a moon, you’d cause all manner of havoc such as tidal waves on the surface of the planet below.
  8. More generally, you can’t become someone else entirely by shrieking about the power or honour of Grayskull. I know. I’ve tried.

Bow's Farewell 5
Loo-Kee: “I can definitely read books. Honest.”

 

Character checklist

What a lot of specialtons show up this week. Specifically, it’s Adora, Spirit, She-Ra, Swift Wind, Bow, Kowl, Glimmer, Queen Angela, Loo-Kee, the Twiggets (including Spunky), Catra, and the ever-present Horde Troopers.

 

Excuse given for Adora’s disappearance

It’s a standard display of two transformations and no excuses.

 

Insults

Catra is, as always, pretty free with insulting comments, though today they’re not very imaginative. She calls her Horde Troopers “fools” three times, as well as addressing them as “bunglers” and “cowards”. She also calls She-Ra and Bow “fools”, which – given the insane things they do this week – seems a reasonable assessment.

Bow's Farewell 6
Horde Trooper: “I’m really sorry.”

 

Oh No, Bow!

Bow’s little trip to the Twigget village at the start is presented as reckless behaviour and thus warrants a mention here, though I’d argue it doesn’t seem to be any worse than the rebels’ usual modus operandi. On the other hand, his later decision to dress up as a wizard is pretty strong evidence of his devolution into complete insanity.

 

Does it have the Power?

Let’s start by pointing out that the title is completely disconnected to the episode’s events. It leads one to conclude that Bow is going to quit, and admittedly the story looks that way for a brief second before Kowl brings up the notion of going on a lads’ weekend away. Thereafter, the episode would be more accurately called Bow’s Holiday or Bow’s Gone Nuts or something similar.

Bow's Farewell 7
Adora: “Bow, what the hell are you doing?”

Petty quibbling aside, this is a real episode of two halves. The first half is shaping up to be one of the dullest episodes we’ve seen in a long time, possibly ever, what with its pointless fight between She-Ra and Catra, and the subsequent haranguing of Bow for no particularly apparent reason. Once Bow finds the Horde slave camp, though, the whole thing picks up considerably by opting to ramp up the craziness to hitherto unexplored levels. In essence, the episode then becomes a far less sane version of The Crystal Castle, an episode which was itself pretty deranged.

In short, you should watch this episode, but probably only from the 10-minute mark or thereabouts. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and most of all, you’ll wonder if you’ve accidentally ingested some mind-altering drugs.

Episode 11 – The Peril of Whispering Woods

In which Adora forgets that her secret identity is meant to be secret.

This week, Hordak has a guest: his nephew, Prince Ed, the son of Horde Prime. Given the dialogue, I would surmise that Horde Prime is not only Hordak’s brother but his boss as well. It is thus rather embarrassing for Hordak when a bunch of rebels successfully destroy a fair number of Horde tanks and steal a truck full of goods. Ed is not impressed by the Horde’s incompetence, but Hordak shows him that when the rebels go into Whispering Woods, the Horde cannot follow, because the trees magically block their path.

The Horde return to the Fright Zone to lick their wounds, but are met with unexpected good news: Shadow Weaver has managed to concoct a poison that will destroy the Whispering Woods. They put it to work straight away, and quickly manage to kill a large number of trees. A pleasing side effect of the poison is that it also seems to affect the Twiggets, so hopefully that’ll be the end of them.

Peril 1
Shadow Weaver: “Chin chin.”

Madame Razz tries her magic to counteract the poison, but without success. She then pronounces that a transforming spell is the only way to deal with the situation, but that would require a sample of the poison to work from. The other rebels ignore this helpful hint for now, and Adora goes so far as to claim that there’s nothing that anyone – even She-Ra – can do.

The following day, with vast swathes of the trees gone, the rebels are defenceless, so Hordak and Prince Ed arrive with a platoon of Horde Troopers to finish them off. Thanks to She-Ra, the rebels manage to win the battle, and are even lucky enough to capture Ed. The rebels prepare to mash him into a pulp, but She-Ra warns them that revenge doesn’t help, pointing out that harming Ed will not save the trees.

Peril 2
Glimmer: “Yes, of course I look like a plausible member of a lynch mob.”

She-Ra and Glimmer give Ed a crash course in rebel morality, and successfully guilt-trip him over the destruction of the forest and the Twiggets’ sickness. Ed then offers his help, and sends a letter to Hordak ordering him to stop poisoning Whispering Woods, and threatening to tell Horde Prime that Hordak left him to be captured by the rebels. Hordak snorts and snorts his stupid head off, but is forced to acquiesce.

At a parley, the rebels hand Prince Ed back over to Hordak, and in return Hordak promises to destroy all the poison. As an extra precaution, Madame Razz steals a sample in order to carry out her transforming spell, and then transforms all the remaining stock of poison – which is just as well, because Hordak breaks his word pretty sharpish. Thanks to Madame Razz, the Whispering Woods return to life, and so do the Twiggets. Whoop whoop.

Peril 3
Madame Razz: “I’m absolutely thrilled with this My First Chemistry Set.”

 

In today’s adventure…

Genuinely, if I can’t see Loo-Kee, how is a five year old supposed to? This time, he was tucked away next to a tree in Whispering Woods. I think the whole point of him is to make your blood boil at how difficult it is to see him, so you pay less attention to the gibberish streaming from his mouth, which is something about being nice to people so they’ll be nice to you, just like She-Ra and Prince Ed. Surely this might have been a good moment to try to do a message about the importance of preserving the environment? Hordak’s poison was a relatively decent stand-in for acid rain and pollution, after all.

 

Character checklist

This little excursion to Etheria features Adora, Spirit, She-Ra, Swift Wind, Glimmer, Madame Razz, Broom, Bow, the Twiggets, Loo-Kee, Prince Ed, Hordak, Shadow Weaver, Catra, Scorpia, and the usual array of background characters and Horde Troopers.

Peril 4
Prince Ed: “You don’t seem like you’re genuinely my uncle.”

 

Excuse given for Adora’s disappearance

Adora doesn’t give an excuse, and also doesn’t seem to care about keeping her identity secret, given she transforms in front of not only the entire Rebellion, but Hordak as well. This happens twice in the episode, suggesting that maybe this episode was penned by a writer who didn’t know it was supposed to be a secret.

 

Insults

Hordak makes an early reference to the Whispering Woods being “vile”, and Glimmer on separate occasions mentions the “darn Hordesmen” and “rotten Hordesmen”. Otherwise, insults are disappointingly thin on the ground.

Peril 5
Random rebel #1: “Highlight of my career.”

 

Does it have the Power?

It’s not offensively bad, but neither did it stir great feelings in me. I quite liked the idea of the story, and it was competently presented, but without going the extra mile to make it particularly exciting. Prince Ed didn’t do anything for me, though it’s interesting that he’s now a goody, even though he’s Horde Prime’s son. I also quite like the idea of an unseen, more powerful boss for Hordak, who hopefully we’ll meet at some stage.

My favourite character remains Catra, who doesn’t appear for very long today, but is seen in the Fright Zone, being pointlessly evil by using rebel prisoners as a coconut shy. It’s a nice little animation sequence, which is not relevant at all to the story, but gives her another nice character touch. Hopefully she can stage a coup and get rid of Pig Boy at some point. I’m not holding my breath though.

Episode 09 – The Missing Axe

In which I have amended the spelling of the word ‘ax’ in the episode’s title.

Adora is prancing about in the forest, when she comes across a Horde Trooper trying to capture a dog-like creature called a squipper, in order to put it in Hordak’s zoo. Adora transforms into She-Ra, humiliates the Horde Trooper, blows up a robot, receives a great big possibly rabies-infected lick from the squipper, and then stands around congratulating herself. Finally, she turns back into Adora and trots off to meet Bow.

Axe 1
She-Ra: “This animal has the most soulless eyes I’ve ever seen.”

Bow is hanging out with a woodcutter and his two sons, as you do. One of the two sons appears to be permanently stoned, and the other looks disconcertingly like Chris Martin, at least to my poor demented eyes. The woodcutter offers Bow and Kowl a meal, and as they settle down to eat, the sons borrow the woodcutter’s axe and go off to chop some kindling. The woodcutter specifically warns the sons not to lose the axe, so what do you think they do? That’s right.

Axe 2
Woodcutter: “Meet my sons, Yellow and Stoner.”

In complete fairness, it’s not totally their fault. Yes, they leave the axe alone while they go off to swim, but it would be okay if those stupid green dwarves, the Twiggets, were sensible enough to keep their noses out of other peoples’ business. The Twiggets amble up, see the axe, conclude it’s valuable and therefore might get nicked, and decide to take it to Madame Razz to find out who it belongs to. I ask you, would you do this? Or would you use your mind and realise that nicking something is not the best way to prevent it being nicked?

When Chris Martin and his stoner brother discover that the axe is gone, they decide to tell their father that it was stolen. They give a made-up description of the thief: tall, with a long purple cloak, and claim he headed off towards Greenthatch, a town still under Horde control. On hearing this, Bow immediately determines to do something about the robber, and rides off to Greenthatch, where he is pretty speedily captured by Mantenna, and packed into a slave transport ship.

We now cut back to Adora, who is pissing about in the forest picking up sticks and giving them to some deformed beavers. There’s no reason whatsoever offered for this behaviour. Once she’s finished being mental, she decides that she should start looking for Bow, who’s late for their appointment. She therefore turns into She-Ra, mounts Swift Wind, and soon arrives at the woodcutter’s house.

Axe 3
Spirit: “Er, Adora, are you sure this isn’t mental?”

Being considerably more intelligent than Bow, She-Ra quickly learns the truth from Chris Martin and his drug-crazed brother. The woodcutter is clearly itching to beat the boys senseless, but Kowl arrives in the nick of time, bearing the news of Bow’s capture. She-Ra sets off to intercept the slave transport, from which she frees Bow with considerable ease. As an afterthought, she also releases loads of other prisoners, who charge off the transport ship with expressions of gleeful insanity.

Back at the woodcutter’s cottage, Bow hunkers down in the saddle of his horse as if he’s expecting to be smacked, and then performs some magic and smiles sleazily in She-Ra’s direction. She-Ra doesn’t make any kind of response. Chris Martin and Drugs Boy get grounded by the woodcutter, and finally, the Twiggets show up, carrying the axe, and ask who it belongs to. This is our cue for everyone to laugh their heads off, rather than using the axe to murder the Twiggets.

Axe 4
Kowl: “Bow, if you make that face outside schools, you’ll be arrested.”

 

In today’s adventure…

I was looking really hard for Loo-Kee, but with zero success. This is really difficult. He was behind a basket in Greenthatch, in case you care. I daresay you can predict what today’s moral was, but if not, then it was another self-righteous lecture on the importance of telling the truth, even if you’ve done something wrong. I think another lesson can be drawn from this week: if you are a green dwarf thing, She-Ra will be absolutely fine with you nicking an axe and causing a massive problem.

 

Character checklist

This silly little outing features Adora, Spirit, She-Ra, Swift Wind, Bow, his horse Arrow, Kowl, Madame Razz, the Twiggets, the woodcutter, Chris Martin, the stoner brother, Mantenna, some Horde Troopers, and the various rabid animals (other than Bow) that Adora spends her time with.

Axe 5
Twigget: “It wouldn’t be stupid and annoying for me to nick this axe, would it?”

 

Excuse given for Adora’s disappearance

I think Adora has it easier than Adam. She doesn’t have people hanging round her all the time wanting to know where she is, and she doesn’t have royal appointments and training that she needs to attend. On top of that, she seems to be a loner and a borderline headcase anyway, always hanging around on her own in the forest and messing about with animals, so no one actually notices when she’s not where she’s supposed to be. All this is by way of saying that despite two transformations this week, there’s no excuses needed or offered.

 

 Insults

There are no insults in this episode either, which is disappointing.

 

Oh No, Bow!

Bow loses his fight with Mantenna in the town of Greenthatch, although I suppose I should mention that he does put in a relatively decent effort, evading Mantenna for a good 90 seconds before being shot while he’s pointlessly trying to climb a wall.

Axe 6
Bow: “Well, how did it come to this?”

 

Does it have the Power?

I think it’s safe to say that this is a story we all recognise, from its billions of appearances on He-Man, and it’s not really a story I wanted or needed to see again. Still, I suppose it’s a reasonable effort. I’d have liked to see the Twiggets get told off for stealing the axe, since the whole thing is their fault, but they seem to have free rein to do as they please. Incidentally, I’m sure that in previous episodes they were Spriggets, not Twiggets.

The story was clearly not quite long enough to fill the full 20 minutes either, given the completely irrelevant rubbish at the start with the squipper animal, which took up three minutes for no purpose whatsoever. I would also like to know what the deal with the beavers was. Despite these minor misgivings though, I’d say this is a passable effort.