Having now enjoyed the final on-screen adventure of He-Man and his mates, I think it’s worth taking a moment to reflect on the journey we’ve taken together. We’ve seen the highs and the lows of Eternia, Etheria and Primus; we’ve met some outstanding characters and some awful loons; we’ve watched episodes of sheer genius like The Problem with Power, and episodes of irredeemable gibberish like The Bibbet Story; and of course we’ve learned some very important moral lessons – primarily that we should stay the hell away from drugs.
Most popular episodes
There’s no point in me doing a Top 5 and Bottom 5 episode list from my own perspective, because – fun though it would be for me to praise The Region of Ice and rip The Rarest Gift of All to shreds again – I think we all know my opinions by now. So instead, let’s go for a much more objective method: for each series, let’s see which episodes got the most and least views on this website. Let’s start by saying that – as of the evening of 2nd March 2024 – we’ve had 210,626 views since we went live eight years ago, and I’d like to thank everybody for reading along with me. It really means a lot – it’s been a pleasure writing them all, and it’s great to know that people have (mostly) enjoyed reading.
Now – which episodes of each series were most popular? Working backwards …
Netflix CGI He-Man:
Episode 01 – The Sword of Grayskull, with 118 views. I suspect we’re going to get quite a few Episode 1s on this list, but here we have the pilot of the CGI series. It was a good one, no question: a great intro to the reimagining of He-Man, appealing to children and adults alike.
Honourable mention: Episode 26 – The End of the Beginning, with 66 views.
Revelation/Revolution:
Revelation Episode 01 – The Power of Grayskull, with 236 views. Yeah, there we go – another Episode 1. And another good one, too: like the CGI series, it reintroduces the series concept nicely and quickly gets into the plot, asking some interesting questions that the original couldn’t tackle.
Honourable mention: Revelation Episode 04 – Land of the Dead, with 228 views.
Netflix She-Ra:
Episode 01 – The Sword, Part 1, with 319 views. This is going to get tedious if one of the series’ doesn’t buck the trend. Maybe the list of least popular episodes may offer more surprises. Anyway, here’s another good opener, though I’d hesitate to describe it as a series highlight really.
Honourable mention: Episode 04 – Flowers for She-Ra, with 228 views.
MYP He-Man:
Episode 40 – Captured, with 588 views. Okay. I wasn’t expecting that: the most-viewed episode of this series was the one that was a comic strip, not an episode. Probably got a high rank because people were clicking on it wondering what the hell I was on about and whether I was going to branch off into comics now. (Don’t worry, I’m not.)
Honourable mention: Episode 01 – The Beginning, Part 1, with 518 views.
The New Adventures of He-Man:
Episode 01 – A New Beginning, with 758 views. I thought this one would be top for NA, and indeed for a number of years it was actually leading the pack for most-viewed episode on the entire blog. Again, it was a fine opener for its series, which weaned me off Filmation and got me excited for what was coming next.
Honourable mention: Episode 28 – Cold Freeze, with 403 views.
Filmation She-Ra:
Episode 77 – The Caregiver, with 912 views. I mean, this is frankly bizarre. Not only is this thoroughly unremarkable episode the most-read She-Ra review on this blog, it’s also the most-read item full-stop, pipping its nearest competitor by 50 views. I have no idea why. It started climbing the charts sometime last year, when it got about 100 views in a single day, and ever since then it never seems to go a day without someone reading it. I can only admire the commitment someone out there has to what I’d consider a completely neither-here-nor-there episode.
Honourable mention: Episode 18 – Horde Prime Takes a Holiday, with 756 views.
Filmation He-Man:
Episode 029 – Prince Adam No More, with 872 views. A definite classic here, but I think its high position was helped by it being advertised on the front page of He-Man.org for quite a while in around 2016. A fine choice for most-read episode, though, no question.
Honourable mention: Episode 001 – The Cosmic Comet, with 798 views.
Least popular episodes
Right – now we’re going to do the same thing, with the least popular episodes. Starting at the back again…
Netflix CGI He-Man:
Episode 16 – Divided We Stand, with 25 views. Probably one of the series’ least necessary outings: perfectly competent and enjoyable, but doesn’t stand out from the crowd. It seems fair that it’s the lowest viewed episode of the series, though perhaps less fair that it’s the least viewed of the entire blog.
Honourable mention: Episode 25 – The Beginning of the End, with 26 views.
Revelation/Revolution:
Revolution Episode 4 – The Dogs of War, with 37 views. A jolly good romp which features Skeletor stabbing Hordak; got to say, Skeletor really is a bit stabby in the Revelation/Revolution series. This one’s position was probably dragged down by the fact that it’s only been up on the blog for about a month; if it had had longer, it would probably have overtaken some of its close competitors. Though I suppose with only 15 eps to choose from, there’s always got to be a last place.
Honourable mention: Revolution Episode 2 – Ascension, with 47 views.
Netflix She-Ra:
Episode 41 – Launch, with 37 views. Netflix’s She-Ra really did tail off in quality during its final run, so it’s no surprise to find one of the tedious instalments from the last batch of episodes bringing up the rear here. In case you care, this one’s got a load of interminable Adora soul-searching, gibber between Glimmer and Horde Prime, and the other Princesses failing to be funny. I don’t blame anyone for not reading my review of it, frankly.
Honourable mention: Episode 47 – Shot in the Dark, with 43 views.
MYP He-Man:
Episode 22 – The Island, with 109 views. Ah, The Island. It’s very pleasing somehow that one of my least favourite episodes in the entire franchise manages to slink onto this list in last place. This episode had literally nothing to redeem it, unless you hugely enjoy bellowing at Man-at-Arms for being an enormous wanker. Which I do, obviously, but even this joyful pastime does get boring after a while.
Honourable mention: Episode 38 – History, with 113 views.
The New Adventures of He-Man:
Episode 60 – The Call to the Games, with 58 views. I have to admit, I don’t remember this one particularly, but I don’t think it was that bad. Re-reading my review, it seems it was the one that kicked off the final arc, and though I didn’t think it was a classic, it certainly wasn’t poor either. No idea why it’s achieved this ignominy, tbh.
Honourable mention: Episode 55 – The Taking of Levitan, with 62 views.
Filmation She-Ra:
Episode 76 – Brigis, with 93 views. I feel like something must have gone wrong with the blog when I published my review for Brigis: while it’s a pretty poor episode, I can’t really see why it’s got an astonishing 27 fewer views than its closest competitor. I suppose, given this is the episode featuring a village that only appears for a few days every 500 years, maybe my readership got shifted into an alternate dimension along with said village?
Honourable mention: Episode 64 – Wild Child, with 120 views.
Filmation He-Man:
Episode 090 – One For All, with 139 views. Another showing with an incredible differential between it and second place, One For All is that episode with the space pirates which wasn’t any great shakes but was considerably better than many of Filmation He-Man’s infuriating offerings. It is, however, a very forgettable episode, which perhaps accounts for its position here.
Honourable mention: Episode 074 – Island of Fear, with 161 views.
Who’s the most foolish fool?
One last thing I want to do is to share with you the final scores on a little tally that you didn’t even know I’ve been keeping. Because I’m completely mental, I’ve been noting it down every time someone is told they’re a fool. This occurred an astonishing 400 times in the space of 311 episodes, equating to approximately 1.28 times per episode, which I think anyone would agree is a trifle excessive. In addition, if you’re interested, there were 140 different characters who were the recipient of this insult. Don’t ask me what to do with that info, but you’ve got it to hand now in case you need it.
Anyway, you’re of course slavering to know who the most foolish individual in the He-Man universe is, and I will here reveal the top five.
5. Mantenna, Trapjaw and Bow. In joint fifth place were Skeletor’s hapless sidekick, She-Ra’s sleazy idiotic friend, and everyone’s favourite bug-eyed Horde loony, racking up a pretty hefty 12 each. I’d argue that frankly each of them deserves the ignominy of appearing on this list, particularly Mantenna, who probably has the highest fool-to-appearance ratio.
4. Whiplash. This is a surprise. I never particularly noticed Whiplash being a common recipient of “fool”, but here he is with a score of 13. In fairness to him, it mostly comes from the MYP series, where he was pretty omnipresent in any scene when Skeletor was berating his minions in general. If he’d made himself a bit scarcer, this might not have happened to him. It’s a shame, since I suspect it’ll affect his future employment prospects.
3. Horde Troopers. Okay, it’s a bit controversial, but I didn’t want to make a note every time a different batch of Troopers was insulted, so I choose to assume it was the same bunch each time, unlikely though that is, given how often She-Ra kicked their heads in. They just pip Whiplash to the post, with 14. If this doesn’t sit well with you, given technically they are a load of separate characters, you can bump the Mantenna/Trapjaw/Bow collective and Whiplash up one place each, and insert Teela and Man-at-Arms in fifth place with their joint score of 11. In fact, you should definitely do that, because otherwise Man-at-Arms will get off all too lightly.
2. Beast-Man. Yes, obviously, poor old Beast-Man. He’s got double the number of “fool” outbursts than the Horde Troopers, limping in with 28. To make matters worse, this almost entirely comes from his boss, Skeletor. If ever anyone needed to talk to the union, it’s Beast-Man.
1. He-Man. Perhaps a little unfair, given he appears in more episodes than anyone else in the franchise, but even so, it was pretty close between him and Beast-Man for quite a long time. Beast-Man’s enforced absence in the New Adventures perhaps clinched it for He-Man, though, who manages an impressive 31.
Honourable mentions go to Mer-Man and Grizzlor, who achieved scores of 10, and She-Ra, Skeletor and (oddly) Clawful, who stagger in with scores of 9.
Where now?
I don’t know. I just don’t know. Goodbye.
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