In which Sagittar becomes Slush Head’s best man.
He-Man, Hydron, Sagittar, Artilla, Gepple and Elcon are taking a pleasure cruise in a starship (possibly the Starship Eternia, but it doesn’t look like it), when they are pulled off course and forced to land in the Quagmi Swamp. Everyone seems very concerned about this, but based on past experience, it’s hardly a serious problem.
It soon emerges that the parts needed to fix the starship are not on board, which means our heroes are going to have to walk to Gorn City to buy them. That’s all very well, but before we can even get going with that, the Mutants attack, led by Slush Head. In the course of the ensuing battle, a lady version of Slush Head emerges from the swamp, and is saved from almost certain death by Sagittar. When Slush Head sees her with He-Man and co., he calls off the assault, not wishing her to come to any harm.
Slush Head, Quake and Stackhorn soon return, with their weapons holstered, and Slush Head introduces the lady as Felker, his bride-to-be. When he hears that Sagittar saved Felker’s life, he is overcome with gratitude, and allows Hydron to go to Gorn City to buy the parts needed for the starship. In the meantime, though, he insists that Sagittar be his best man.
And so begins one of the most delightfully insane moments in He-Man’s history. The wedding is attended by a selection of weird fish people dressed in suits, and even Skeletor attends, resplendent in a bow tie, Victorian shirt and black dinner jacket. He-Man and Skeletor agree to keep the peace for the duration of the wedding, though naturally Skeletor is lying, as he makes clear to the audience. Still, despite some last minute jitters, Felker and Slush Head are married by Flogg, who is apparently and unexpectedly invested with ministerial powers.
It’s at the reception, unfortunately, that things go pear-shaped. For some reason that I’m not totally clear on, Stackhorn sees fit to hide inside the wedding cake, and from that moment on, the wedding turns into a free-for-all. We’re not exactly talking Red Wedding levels of carnage here, but it’s not far off. Eventually, of course, He-Man and his mates defeat the Mutants, and make their escape in the starship, which Hydron has being repairing in the meantime.
Sagittar voices my opinion – he feels bad for Slush Head. After all, his wedding has been trashed. Admittedly, it’s kind of his fault for inviting his sworn enemies, and naturally, Skeletor shares some of the blame for refusing to play nicely. Luckily, it seems Slush Head doesn’t mind that much – he gets in touch to say thank you to the Galactic Guardians for attending, and for rescuing Felker. He then flies off, presumably on his honeymoon, which is a concept I don’t really want to think about.
In today’s adventure…
Elcon and Gepple dispense the relatively sane advice that we should never open the door unless we know who’s there. This is demonstrated by Gepple nearly opening the door when Quake and Slush Head are uncharacteristically polite enough to knock.
Character checklist
This little jaunt into insanity is an outing for He-Man, Hydron, Sagittar, Artilla, Elcon, Gepple, Skeletor, Flogg, Slush Head, Felker, Stackhorn, Critta, BH, Quake, and the various fishy guests at the wedding, including a guy called Mr Sherpy.
Excuse given for Prince Adam’s disappearance
It’s another of those pretty regular episodes where the name of Adam is not even mentioned, and we certainly don’t see him. That’s fair enough this week – there’s too much insanity to fit in without having to worry about Adam.
Insults
When he learns that Slush Head has invited He-Man and co. to the wedding, Flogg describes him as a “fool”, and perhaps reasonably so. Slush Head also takes a few hits from Felker when she’s having second thoughts: she calls him a “brute” and a “monster”. Stackhorn seems to have it in for Sagittar, referring to him as “horse-face” and “pony-man”, but he is effectively silenced when Skeletor calls him a “fool”. As if that wasn’t enough, the fish-faced wedding planner Mr Sherpy describes Stackhorn as a “brute”, so I expect that puts him in his place.
Silence, Scientists!
Oh, God, here we go again. It’s Gepple and Elcon causing me grief this week, and they start off with a point apiece for their distinctly unfunny fight at the beginning of the episode over whose fault it is that a new invention isn’t working. This is followed up very shortly with another point each for the recurrence of the stuttering inability to say “Mutants” joke, and then yet another point each for further arguing, though at this interlude even Hydron gets fed up of them and tells them to shut the fuck up.
The two of them mercifully go quiet for a good 10 minutes after that, but when they do show up again, Gepple immediately earns himself a fourth point for breaking the fourth wall by acknowledging that he’s in a cartoon. The two of them then contribute nothing else to the episode, except for participating in the food fight at the reception.
Meldock: 25
Gepple: 26
Krax: 14
Elcon: 33
Egg on your face?
We’ve not heard a lot from this category during The New Adventures of He-Man, but this episode pretty much fills the quota for the entire series. A fair proportion of the second half features people throwing food around, much of it landing on unnamed wedding guests, but it should be noted that Flogg, Critta, Quake and BH are all lucky enough to get a faceful of something or another.
Does it have the Power?
I’d forgotten that He-Man was supposed to be fun. Though there have been moments of humour here and there, I’ve found much of this entire series to be mostly po-faced and all too serious. This episode, though, is completely crazy, in the same way that Here, There, Skeletors Everywhere or Flowers for Hordak was, and it’s really welcome. It’s a breath of fresh air and hugely enjoyable – and surprisingly manages to give some genuine character development to Slush Head as well. He’s always been the most sympathetic of the Mutants, but this week gives him added depth. This episode is most definitely a series highlight – make sure you don’t miss it.